Just because you don't get a response doesn't mean they don't understand. I consider myself very intuitive when it comes to my kids, but that didn't stop me from majorly underestimating my son.
For Christmas my son received a Mickey Mouse tablet pictured below.
Often times with toys like these, both of my boys will press the same buttons over and over. "Stimming", what seems to be without a purpose to me. Garrett, who at the time was considered very limited verbally, was playing around with the toy, pressing the letters. It was irritating, like most of these toys are. I was ignoring him, playing around on my iPad, when I vaguely heard him press the letters C-A-T. I looked up and he glanced my way. He said, "Cuh".
Hmph, I thought. He knows how to spell cat. Wow, he must have picked that up from a book or something. "Wow, good job, G! That's right! cat!"
He went back to the toy, and to my amazement, he typed D-O-G. Then he said, "Duh". Before I could even get out a "holy shit!", he started typing away.
Frog.
Horse.
Walrus.
Giraffe.
Disney Junior.
Mickey Mouse clubhouse.
I kid you not. I was jumping up and down at this point. The most he had ever said aloud was, "I want juice", but apparently he could spell! He could READ!
Until this day, I had no idea what he was capable of. I still don't know for sure. He's not able to respond to questions I ask, but that doesn't mean he doesn't understand the questions. It could very well be he just doesn't know how to answer. Yet. I do know that since this day, I treat both of my sons as if they understand exactly what is going on around them. I tell them what we are doing and where we are going. Every step I make, I explain it to them. I assume competence.
Some of you are probably familiar with Carly Fleischmann. She is a young woman who is autistic and can not speak. She communicates solely by using a computer. If you have a few minutes, take a look at this video. It discusses the moment when her parents realized that she could communicate. This is a great example of why as parents, teachers and humans, we must always assume competence.
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